Trust

Yesterday was a hard day. We almost broke up because of my trust issues. I never realized I had them until that moment. Its so funny how someones mentality can change in an instant. I suppose I needed to her from her that I don't trust her. Though in admitting that its admitting that there is something wrong with the way most people do there relationships, including a lot of my friends that have given me all the same advice. But I feel that its okay. I don't think she'll ever mess up like that again. Everyone makes mistakes and I've had my fair share of feeling this way. While I feel that it was right of me to be mad at her and to even mistrust her for a bit, not for 2 months. (That really was the deepest shes ever hurt me, especially with me trusting her completely then. Especially with how it was tearing us apart. It was really affecting her on the phone too. She actually thought I did'nt trust her at all. (the minds a bitch like that) But I think I helped her. I want her to be more open to me about how she feels about things. Thats all for now. Oh and I'm getting my place together.

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Scott Free

Well people there are somtimes in a relationship where you are put through amazing hard times... well, I think god said "you've had enough of those, have a cookie" My girlfriend is pregnant. With our kid. Wow. She's decided an abortion is the best thing and I agree. A child right now would ruin her life. What else...hmmm.... oh, and we are getting her protection. (Condoms are the latexy spawn of Satin!!!) Though if you don't have an alternative, use em'.


I miss her so damn much right now. We had 4 days without seeing each other and it's been hell. Just thinking about the summer coming up gives me chills. But I'm happy because I know that we are together now, and I know that we'll stay that way. Because theres a place for each other that we fill that otherwise can't be filled.

Smile

This has been a great week. Jasmine got to come over and we had the best sex either of us has ever had. I'm sure that anyone else I've ever had sex with ears are ringing right now but I don't care. It was unbelievably great.

I learned today that she skipped her period and she might be pregnant. I know what from atleast. I hope she isn't. I don't want the teenage mother life for her. I want her to go to college and follow her dreams. Not to mention with the way her family over-reacts to seemingly everything. A baby between us right now = not good. Though if she is actually pregnant than I don't have a problem rising up to the role. I love her.

I learned a week ago the real reason why Shielas brother was put in jail over the stautory rape issue. It was because he was over the age difference limit. (4 years) So I actually am safe. I'm not going to bother to tell her because I don't think it'll get anywhere. But I've done enough research to atleast say that I'm confident in this.

Adrianna is acting jealous and though I'm flattered I'm more pissed than flattered at her. She becoming more atraccted to me again but as far as I consider it. I love jasmine and I'm not thinking about dating or going with anyone but her. Who is she to say a 2 and a half age difference is too much. and right after I visit her. Yeah it wasn't enough of a difference for her when we made out those few times.

I visited nana and got a coffee pot w/ coffee and creamer. I've got a nice cup of joe next to my pc now. God did I need some coffee. Today I'll be husling some cash together for Mackenzie and getting tested for drugs for my new job at sears. I'll be talking to jasmine once my schedule gets figured out about seeing her in the mornings on tuesdays and thursdays. Other than that, let society be damned. I'm going to start living, and stop being static.