An amazing day

Today i saw jasmine twice. Now to most people that's not a big deal (minus her fan club) but to me under the restrictions we've been under recently, that's great. I saw her earlier and cashed a coinstar receipt for around 30 bucks or so. That way I could borrow ten off her for food. (buying the hard drive and wasting money put me in a bad position) Surprisingly enough she ad later said. Oh, you could have used the whole thing. But thats besides the point. I was in the shopping center heading home when one of us called each other and she asked what are you doing. I told her I'm leaving the shopping center on the bus and apperently she was at the laundromat washing clothes. Well, we hanged out for a while and made the bathroom ours. Overall today was a great day. :) cheers. Also yesterday we hanged out after school, it's like we never skipped a beat.

Trust

Yesterday was a hard day. We almost broke up because of my trust issues. I never realized I had them until that moment. Its so funny how someones mentality can change in an instant. I suppose I needed to her from her that I don't trust her. Though in admitting that its admitting that there is something wrong with the way most people do there relationships, including a lot of my friends that have given me all the same advice. But I feel that its okay. I don't think she'll ever mess up like that again. Everyone makes mistakes and I've had my fair share of feeling this way. While I feel that it was right of me to be mad at her and to even mistrust her for a bit, not for 2 months. (That really was the deepest shes ever hurt me, especially with me trusting her completely then. Especially with how it was tearing us apart. It was really affecting her on the phone too. She actually thought I did'nt trust her at all. (the minds a bitch like that) But I think I helped her. I want her to be more open to me about how she feels about things. Thats all for now. Oh and I'm getting my place together.

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Shane Version 5.0

There was me as a child, me in middle school, me after my pops died, me after meeting and losing jasmine and now there is me now that I'm learning to get up again. I'm going to go to sleep and when I get up, amazing things will happen on the internet.

Black Coffee

Another Day another caper, I swear its becoming better and better for me. I have 1 last chance not to screw this shit up, 1 more chance to make everything happen for me. And god knows I can't fucking wait! Life is good, and things with jasmine have been a dream, I'm so lucky to have someone like her. Kelitas had her child and it could be mine. The symtoms the kid had really makes me think shes lying but I'll see first if its true. If it is, then I'm sure its my child. I broke down with jasmine on the phone about it and she really helped me get myself back together. Speaking of which she has a cell phone now, it lasts for about 7-20 mins per phone call.



quick at that but then again she always says the right things. I improperly spent my first of the month check.... again, $40 on pizza, huge mistake! I can't say I won't again but at least with baseball season at the end of the month I won't have to worry so much about funding. (just in time for jasmines birthday too, god is good. Mackenzie got me a fashion design website job and if I impress todd I'll have another site to do. (for damn good pay) I want to bust my ass on it to because in this week I can consider myself an established web designer if I get everything done well. We shall see.... so with some extra strong coffee and the support of Jasmine and my grandmother and family I'm going to buckle down, complete this system and work on completing my portfolio site.

heard that usa today rated above the incline the 2nd most beautiful spot in pittsburgh. so I want to take jasmine there for valentines. Friday is the dedline for all three sites, wishme luck.

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I want to be stronger

To say never is to declare something absolute that you can't control forever. Such is a lie used by people to express strong feelings towards not letting something happen. To fly, first you need to fal a couple of times. I fell, and I fell, and I fell again, but this time I have Jasmine, and realizing that I can say I'll never let me lose to myself again. I want to be stronger.

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Changes

Things Changed/That will be



I want my hair longer, much longer. This shorter haired me really, well, isn't me. It sucks for my family but, I trid short hair one more time and I was right, it's not to be.



I want to be at a better school when jasmine gets out.



I want this tattoo







Also, I gave Jasmine rinoa's necklace for christmas. It's from the first love story I ever got into. I wore the griever chain in high school so i figure now we match. :)

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Break Up

She mentioned the possibility of breaking up. To get me out. Needless to say, I'm feeling evil about it. I remembered originally why I grew my hair out now. Because after the first incident with glaston I did'nt care anymore about much of anything. I literally had to teach myself how to live again. And my hair was reflecting it.